Celebrity or Solitude

A recent string of events has forced an early return to the US - at least earlier than anticipated. And while some days have carried on like molasses, I long to hold onto what I have, and also to what I don't have. I've spent so much time confronting a busy mind. I've learned to steady some things, and to submit to some maddening episodes stirred up by the unquiet imagination and a fickle spirit.

My time alone has been cherished. I've built a simple life for myself in a small, sleepy town that's welcomed me as a member of the community. I've developed relationships that go as far as the friendly smile and the warm greeting, though I've developed many that go further than that. And especially just recently. It seems as though I've finally been swallowed up into the social and cultural fabric of downtown Bilecik. I see the workers at 'Borek Hunkar' or 'Tozman' on a daily basis. At dinner, they know exactly what I'm down to order, save a dish or two. I love the salata ve corba combination, especially when it accompanies my tavuk with a sauce that's perfect for dipping fresh bread into.

It's been nice then, despite all the complaining, to have this time for myself. To hop a bus to Eskisehir on any given day and wander the streets humming tunes under my breath is so free. Nobody knows where I am, and nobody knows who I am. And then I go back to class, on a Monday morning, and the non-discreet glances get in my way. It's celebrity or solitude and sometimes, I don't mind either.