Ankara'ya

I just returned from the Fulbright mid-year meeting, which played out more like a motion picture than some dull, polite, check-up from the organization. As a few of my colleagues noticed in retrospect, the meeting served as an appropriate case-study for examining the program at least up until now. Every ETA was to give a 5 minute presentation on their experience. For some, 5 minutes only provided enough time to forewarn listeners of the host of logistical, cultural, political issues they've confronted during their stay. Therefore, the meeting had to sacrafice key segments for lack of time. Typical. For the most part, people's experiences were positive. For a few too many, however, their Fulbright year has been rife with stressful issues surrounding housing, payment, and the like. The program has, at times, dropped the ball. But we were frequently reminded that our experience - in particular - being the first year of an expanded program - was different than any other ETA experience in the world. We, unlike so many, have been placed in relatively undeveloped towns and cities throughout Turkey. You will not, for instance, find Bilecik, Karabuk, Osmaniye, Kars, or Duzce in your Turkish guide book. And though I feel awful for some of my colleagues who have had experiences more akin to the Peace Corp than Fulbright, I'm genuinely grateful for the opportunity to live - to completely saturate myself - in small-town Turkey. As I've said, Bilecik is very Turkish. Cultural milieu's are pronounced and pervasive, and although I embarrass myself nearly every day in my chronic struggles with the language and the customs, I'm having an experience well worth the sacrifice. I take the vision and the mission of the program very seriously, even if many townsfolk, students, and colleagues can't fathom why I'm here. I am part of a very important idea - one that places face-to-face diplomacy and education ahead of bureaucratic jargon, economic trade-negotiations, sanctions, or warfare. I am an American in Bilecik, Turkey exposed to all the privileges and shortcomings that my identity provides.

We stayed at the Ankara Hilton, which is somewhat regrettable when I realize that I won't likely stay in a Hilton anytime soon. I've reached my peak, folks, and I'm only 22. I closed my eyes for a few moments during the divine and complementary Turkish breakfast just to soak in the moment. The olives, the fruits and nuts, the breads, and the fresh juices were all too much to handle. I have a slight feeling that this program is setting unfair expectations for the futures of its participants. And no kidding, meeting Ambassador Ricciardone revealed that he too was a Fulbright ETA in Italy. His experience as you might imagine was quite different, but according to his testimony, it allowed him to really internalize what it is to see the US from an outsiders perspective. I echo his sentiment of a greater appreciation for the US while also understanding on a more personal level how our actions effect the lives/perceptions/sensibilities of others. This, in turn, compels us to be more inquisitive and perhaps more critical of what we do. It's an understanding I will take with me wherever I go in life. Empathy is an especially important intellectual and emotional register that inevitably dissolves a certain blind bliss, but also brings you so much closer to other people.

More on the Hilton later. It really was awesome.

Goodnight.