Monday, March 28, 2011

Nevsehir and What I Saw There

There are places in the world that look like God is trying to play a trick on us. Nevsehir, or rather Cappadocia, is such a place. A quick glance leaves you feeling as though you've entered a less mountainous New Mexico, though you'll soon notice a vast landscape of phallic-shaped dry rocks and ancient rock-dwellings in the distance. Cappadocia, to me, didn't feel real. It's a the home of the first great Christian civilization, which carved their dwellings into underground spaces, rock structures, and naturally-formed caverns to protect themselves against encroaching armies.

Our lively group of five found a great deal on ATV rentals, and tore through the "fairy chimney's" as they're referred to, for a good two and a half hours. Because Turkey isn't obsessed with safety regulations and precautionary measures, and because they know what "fun" means, we had ourselves a hell of a time on those ATV's. It was a beautiful day, and the views of the mountains and the caverns and the rock formations were seen from what could have been miles away. In this picturesque environment, where humankind and nature come together in harmony, our small group revved our engines loud and shattered any modicum of peacefulness in this otherwise serene and happy place. Our engines, with a noise of a thousand angry bulls, shook the earth, and the birds, normally at ease, fled in great despair. We had a blast.

Cappadocia is also known for its wine. I must admit, it wasn't bad contrary to what I'd imagined. The wine I've tasted thus far from Anatolian vineyards has been hard to swallow, literally. But our wine-tasting at a nearby orchard was rather nice. A subtle blend of oak and clove, with flowery overtones and nutty undertones... A cacophony of spices, herbs, branches of trees, and fruits is how I'd characterize every wine I've ever tasted. But trust me when I say the stuff from Cappadocia is good.

I'm running into moments, usually when I'm by myself (which is pretty much all the time), when I realize just how much I'm going to miss this place. I haven't experienced a place, other than my parents' places in Greenfield and Turners Falls, that feels like home the way Bilecik does. I've grown so adjusted and satisfied with my surroundings. It's a fortress in some ways, that remains so far from all else. It means the comfort of relative anonymity and the ability to do what I want, when I want. I've fallen in love with this place, and waves of appreciation sweep over me abruptly and without warning. I lay in bed last night looking out the window and doing my best to soak it all in - the musty scent of my room, the double-layered sheer curtains, the prayer rug that protects my bedside table.


Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Birthday that Almost Wasn't

I checked my e-mail as soon as I woke up this morning. It took me a good minute or two to realize that the insane amount of wall-postings weren’t due to a Facebook virus, but rather, it was my birthday! I’d almost forgotten. Had I known sooner, I may have rescheduled a planned trip to Cappadocia and treated myself with another day-trip to Eskisehir.

So here I am, on a speed-train between Eskisehir and Ankara, on my way to Cappadocia, busy being twenty-three. I’m a quarter of my way through life, which is an awful thing to think about either because I’ve only got three-quarters of a lifetime to go, or because I’ve got three-quarters of a lifetime to go. I plan to make the most of it – to attack my dreams with all I’ve got. Onwards and upwards.

I knew my birthday fell somewhere around this time. There was a lingering sense of it in the back of my mind, but because the days tend to bleed together in Bilecik, I wasn’t so much fully aware of it. I have received some wonderful messages from friends, students, and colleagues. Messages like, ‘It is so good that you are borning’ really warm the heart and inspire me to start quizzing my students more frequently. Experimentation with language comes only after one has mastered the Simple Past tense.

Alas, my birthday will be spent in transit as I make my way to Cappadocia to snap photos of the aforementioned pointy, stone caves (see previous post). My most recent book purchase should keep me company. I bought Orwell’s ‘1984’ the other day at the D&R bookstore in Eskisehir. It’s got me a little on edge. ‘Big Brother’ is definitely watching me. Though in all seriousness, the novel is striking in its portrayal of a reality bearing resemblance, albeit loosely, to the US in the post-9/11 era. All I could think of was the ‘Patriot Act’ – it’s provisions and its name, attempting to shroud its distinctly anti-American manifestations in ironic prose.

Some colleagues of mine live round them parts – that is, Nevsehir – and I look forward to staying with them for the next few days. I’ll take advantage of these final two months, traveling as often as possible.

(Written Thursday, March 24th, 2011)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Still Here!

Some news I received from home a little while ago kept me spontaneously looking for ways to distract myself. Happily, my best friend from home along with his soon-to-be wife arrived soon after for a wonderful visit that allowed me the opportunity to not only speak English for prolonged periods of time, but to also enjoy the positive rays of friendship for which I am thankful. They, bravely, ventured to Bilecik to get a sense of my everyday life. They were treated to a brief tour that covered nearly the entire town, some delicious foods, and a barrage of bewildered stares, gazes, double-takes, and full-on eye screws. We may have been inadvertently making history. I cannot imagine a time when three Americans traversed through Bilecik - Turkey's version of everyone's hometown with football. It may never happen again, though we were certainly noted and perhaps our feats and exploits will be discovered thousands of years from now in some Bilecik excavation project.

The Bilecik visit was short but plenty long enough to show them just about everything. We then set off for Istanbul where I was able to show them some of what they hadn't seen the few days prior to arriving in Bilecik. We explored the famed Taksim Square and buzzing Istiklal, took pictures of cats, discovered and mastered the favored game of salty old Istanbulite men (that is, tabla), took more pictures of cats, and ventured to a hamam (after much coercion). I noticed my friend's masseuse was especially rough and unforgiving, for which I was thankful. It was good to have them around, and I'll cherish the experiences we shared.

Because the students are currently taking mid-term exams, and because I don't administer them, I'm able to travel this weekend to famed Cappadocia, where the wine flows and where drunks try not to impale themselves on those weird pointy stone structures the region is so famous for. Jesus is there, I hear. Maybe that's the wine talking.

Not much more to write today. I'm quite tired and my mind's elsewhere. More to come soon.

Peace and Love.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Politics n' stuff

Thousands have recently taken to the streets of Istanbul in protest of the imprisonment of journalists - an issue that has only recently berthed actual large-scale protests for greater freedom of the press. Even websites, including youtube and blogspot (which I'm currently using), have been shut down in seemingly arbitrary fashion. So while I wrote a thesis on the AKP's contribution to democratization in Turkey, I'm second-guessing much of the credit I offered them. It seems though that the burgeoning tide of freedom-demanding protests and revolutions sweeping the globe are the trappings of a global movement. This is democracy in action, peeling back a the hypocritical rhetoric that kept despots and authoritarian leadership the recipients of Western aid and support. It's a beautiful movement, and the answer to millions of people's prayers. Turkey has moved in a positive direction for the most part, but I feel as though its wavering on a precipice. Strongly-worded calls for freedom and liberty ring hollow against the backdrop of a regime that consistently defies it's purported values. The AKP, now, seems to have no entity able to hold them accountable. Where are the opposition parties in all of this? I would check the newspapers, but it's not reported.

I feel like somewhat of a revolutionary, then, delicately alluding to pressing issues facing Turkish society. The "word association" game did just that, because while I asked them to share adjectives describing America, I also asked them to describe Turkey from what they believed to be an American's perspective. Words like "genocide" and "Kurds" and "restrictions on the press" emerged, and I was relieved in a way. Nationalism supplants history with "preferred history" and veils reality in distorted, unfair ways. Narratives are strung together based on wishes and desires of what ought to be and not what was, easing any sense of dissonance or uneasiness associated with dark chapters of history. It's of course the same in the United States. How often do school children confront accounts of genocide against the Native Americans? How is it that we still celebrate Columbus Day? Perhaps it's that my perspective as an outsider that illuminates the lies and myths of Turkish history in a more glaring light. 1.5 million Armenians were killed between 1915 and 1917. They were dispelled as part of the establishment of a new country, and to this day, I've heard them referred to as "liars" - as criminals and punishers and savages and oppressors. It stings but I feel that, in time, Turkey will come to grips with the bad as well as the good, not as a means by which to somehow take back what's been done, but to acknowledge the crime for what it was and move forward from there.

Every week I've been tying in ways to draw similarities between US and Turkish culture and society. I do this sometimes through humor, and always through PowerPoint. Time to march back to my flat, crank the heat, and watch a episode of MadMen. Let the good times roll.


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Blankets on Blankets

Bilecik is white with snow. It's beautiful, for sure, but so damn cold. Wasn't it last week I was running laps around the track in 60 degree weather? Maybe not. I don't know up from down at this point. All I do know is that its a bitch climbing the icy ski trail up to my flat. My Bean Boots help the minimal amount. Yes, I am mobile. But this is the first time anyone has worn Bean Boots in Turkey as evidenced by the unapologetic stares of Bilecik University students and the good local folk. Are they really that unusual? Not for a New England born-and-raised lass like myself. Winter comes around, and I'm surprised when I see people sporting anything else.

Today I ventured into the center of town for a few commodities. I said "ne haber" to my newest acquaintance, the Chinese flea market store owner. He's consistently and graciously helped me find tape, mirrors, towels, adapters, and other everyday needs he just happens to sell. My big purchase this afternoon was a blanket. The small stove in my flat doesn't quite heat the house sufficiently, so I figured that buffing up on blankets would be a nice gesture for my friends visiting next week. I entered the store knowing that, with great toil, I could walk out of there with a fine blanket for under 30 TL. I fashioned my eye on a Spider-Man themed down blanket displayed outside, grabbed it by the flimsy, plastic, bag handle, and marched inside. My perhaps overzealous "Merhaba" scared away two veiled old ladies who quickly shuffled away into the darkest corner of the blanket store and I was left with a beautiful young lady who met me with a warm, charming smile. Because I've neglected to study or pick-up any Turkish blanket lingo (I don't know how to say 'blanket,' for example), I sort of just made some wild hand-motions accompanied with a few awkward dance steps. I even tapped out a little beat on a nearby carpet stand to indicate I was finished with the presentation. She had no clue what I was doing but I walked out of that store with a beautiful pink and purple down blanket, sophisticatedly designed with pixelated hearts and stars. The Spider-Man themed blanket would have been awesome. Alas, it was too expensive, but I'm happy with what I got.

My best friend and his soon-to-be wife are arriving in Bilecik to pay me a visit. I respect and admire their devotion and their bravery. They're truly stepping outside the boundaries of any recently published tourist literature. I am excited - so excited - to give them a sense of how I've been living for the last seven months. They may laugh, they may cry. Either way, it'll be memorable.

The snow has kept me inside, and mildly edgy. But lately, I've been looking inward, wrestling with the conduct of life and (hopefully) evolving. It's a journey that I'm grateful for, especially as the academic year spent in Turkey has closed a chapter on a year of heartbreak and emptiness. There were certain regrets I've taken the time to confront and to learn from. I let some things go, and I've examined the depth of things I've perhaps left on the shelf for too long a time. It's acknowledging a disconnectedness - a disparity between reality and what's stirred up in my sometimes restless mind. It feels necessary to acknowledge that.

As promised, I'll get back to the small study I've been conducting. The "word association" game has really opened my eyes to Turkish students' perspectives of the US and of Turkey. I'm tempted to ask my colleagues to play the same game in their classes, and report back. If anything, it's forced me to think.

Love and miss you all. Stay in touch. I'll keep this up.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Celebrity or Solitude

A recent string of events has forced an early return to the US - at least earlier than anticipated. And while some days have carried on like molasses, I long to hold onto what I have, and also to what I don't have. I've spent so much time confronting a busy mind. I've learned to steady some things, and to submit to some maddening episodes stirred up by the unquiet imagination and a fickle spirit.

My time alone has been cherished. I've built a simple life for myself in a small, sleepy town that's welcomed me as a member of the community. I've developed relationships that go as far as the friendly smile and the warm greeting, though I've developed many that go further than that. And especially just recently. It seems as though I've finally been swallowed up into the social and cultural fabric of downtown Bilecik. I see the workers at 'Borek Hunkar' or 'Tozman' on a daily basis. At dinner, they know exactly what I'm down to order, save a dish or two. I love the salata ve corba combination, especially when it accompanies my tavuk with a sauce that's perfect for dipping fresh bread into.

It's been nice then, despite all the complaining, to have this time for myself. To hop a bus to Eskisehir on any given day and wander the streets humming tunes under my breath is so free. Nobody knows where I am, and nobody knows who I am. And then I go back to class, on a Monday morning, and the non-discreet glances get in my way. It's celebrity or solitude and sometimes, I don't mind either.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Taking Class in a New Direction

I tried something different in class this week. My lesson focused a bit on English grammar (my students are learning the 'past continuous' tense and modals), but after the first hour, I decided to change gears. I take the Fulbright Program's mission to heart, and I've started to examine what it means to bridge cultural, social, and political gaps between countries. Being in Turkey provides a unique challenge as social and cultural characteristics seem markedly different from those in the United States.

Inspired by a favorite Professor of mine at Wheaton College, I decided to play a word-association game. I simply put the word 'America' on the black-board and asked students to write whatever words came to mind - uncensored, free of judgement. I wanted them to be honest, poignant, and forward. While I've only asked a few classes to participate, many of the same or similar adjectives were noted. I've listed a number of them below:

Exploitation
Crowded
Devil
Honest
Finance
Gorgeous
Independence
Capitalism
Twin Towers
Technology
Obama
CIA
Murder
Shopping
White House
War
Priest
Black people
Hollywood
Racism
Bombing
Freedom
Church
Grand Canyon
Iraq
Tupac
FBI
Sneaking
Artist
Jazz
Poker
Jail

I hope to carry forth this activity through the remainder of the week. So far I've found their responses incredibly compelling, and would be interested to see a side-by-side comparison of words young US university students would associate with Turkey. I decided to chose this activity as a method through which to highlight the pervasive nature of stereotypes, and then to push back against them with more lessons touching upon US lifestyles, politics, etc. Ideally, I hope to strengthen bonds between the cultures by drawing interesting and powerful parallels. It's up to me to figure out exactly how to go about doing that.

More to come on this. Peace.