So while the teaching is a pleasure, other aspects of my Fulbright experience can't measure up. Being an American in a small Turkish town is strange, odd, exciting, compelling, and often frustrating, especially when you're used to being anonymous.
As a somewhat private person, the chronic staring has taken its toll. My work isn't quite as enjoyable under the watchful stare of groups of friends in the dimly lit cafe. I can't get over the aggressive, or suspicious, looks of men on the sidewalk. Most people meet my gestures with smiles, but those that don't make their presence felt, and it can be heartbreaking. I can't blame them for not understanding why it is I'm here. It's like seeing an elephant in a herd of bison. Some bison will be excited to meet the elephant. Others prefer bison. I can't necessarily communicate my mission to everyone at the University, or in the town itself. And its for that very reason that I need to continue to be aware of the reason I am here. Cultural understanding is sometimes a difficult thing to cultivate, but I need to press on.
I must acknowledge that I won't bleed into society. My appearance, my mannerisms prevent that. I bear the burden of an outsider. Amongst those who appreciate my presence, I'm more of a novelty (the elephant can do tricks). But what I would do to be a normal person on the streets of Bilecik.
Soon enough, I'm hopeful my presence won't cause quite a stir. The sooner I learn the language, the customs, the culture, the sooner things are bound to fall into place. A few more sojourns to the corn stand down the road, and the corn stand man will understand that I like my corn just like everyone else likes their corn. Just because I'm American doesn't mean you need to inundate my cup of corn with chocolate sauce, sir.
Stay in touch. Send me e-mails, facebook messages, the like. Miss ya'll.
Goodnight.
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